Story 1997-02-07 Sydney, Australia

07.02.97 Sydney, Australia, intro to ´´It´s The Little Things That Count´´
´´Thank you, I was, uh, I was visiting my parents in a city that will remain nameless for the moment and, uh, a friend of mine got hold of me and invited me out to dinner….so I borrowed my mother´s white Cadillac and uh….he lived about 45, 50 minutes away, so I got out on the interstate that I can´t tell you the number of right now for, for reasons you´ll shortly see and, uh….I drive about half-hour and I got stuck in some pretty heavy traffic so I decided I was gonna practise some of my new-found maturity and pull over and find a telephone booth, call him and tell him I was gonna be late….so, uh….I mean, you know, usually I´d just not call and they´d be sitting there on their asses with the food getting cold, you know (chuckles) but we´re grown-ups now, alright, so (chuckles) so I pull off the highway and I head down into this industrial section outside the city and it´s just all these big old factories and it´s all closed up and, and, uh, I´m driving around in circles and lost and finally I see a couple of blocks up a little bar open on the corner so I pull the Cadillac up outside and I hop out and I go in, there´s a few people beginning to eat dinner, I go to the phone booth, I reach in my pocket and I, I got a 20-dollar bill so I go to the bartender and I say ´Gee, you know, I´d like to make a phone-call, can you give me change of a twenty?´…. and he says ´Well, we don´t give any change around here´….so I said ´Oh, do you mean, like, there´s nobody in the bar gives change? Or like has the whole community banded together and said ´Fuck ´em, no more change if they come through here?´….and, uh, so….he doesn´t say anything and, and, but there´s a waitress sort of watching this whole discourse go down and she walks over and just goes like this and she´s holding a quarter, so I say ´Thank you´ and I take the quarter and I go to the phone booth, I dial my buddy´s number….but it seems like I´m just a little bit outside the area code and it´s a 50-cent call….so, uh….I turn to waitress, I say ´Gee, this is a 50-cent call,´ she says ´Well, that´s too bad, isn´t it?´ (chuckles) ….so….there´s a pause and then she says ´But I´ll give you another quarter if you give me a ride home´ [no response from the crowd] that´s the whole story (chuckles) but (?) the song is coming next hopefully, you know (chuckles) but, anyway, this is, uh, actually I made that entire story up and this next song is completely fabricated (chuckles) all names changed to protect the innocent (chuckles)(some people yell) oh, shut up (chuckles) I´m working up here, I gotta think, alright (chuckles)….´´

07.02.97 Sydney, Australia, intro to ´Red Headed Woman´ (following ´It´s the Little Things That Count´)
´´Thank you, now, speaking of tongues….I´d like to move on to a great song about a great subject, ladies and gentlemen, ´Cunnilingus´, that´s right….thank you, I hope I´m pronouncing that correctly and I´m….I´m not sure if there´s an Australian pronounciation or if there´s another term….I asked a friend of mine, I wanted to make sure I got it right, said ´Gee, I´m gonna sing a song about cunnilingus´, ´What?!?´ (chuckles)….this was up in Brisbane, I said ´Cunnilingus´, he said ´Cunnilingus? They´re not gonna understand a fucking thing you´re talking about, mate!´….I was a little disconcerted for a while but then I said ´Wait, wait a minute, they don´t call it ´Down Under´for nothing!´ (chuckles)….I´ve got confidence, I´ve got great confidence that as we speak, cunnilingus is being practised throughtout the city of Sydney….that´s right, uh, they´re practising it in the harbor, I mean right in the damn opera house already! (chuckles)….I hope so anyway, make Sydney the Happiest City in the World! (chuckles)….yeah, I hope so and uh…. ´course I do mean practising because, man…it´s not as easy as it seems (chuckles)….oh no, oh no, but it´s kind of like riding a bike, you know, it´s really hard at first and then you get the hang of it and then….even if you switch bikes, it still works the same (chuckles)….with a few minor adjustments, I´m afraid (chuckles)….anyway, it takes craft, dedication, good cheer, you gotta go in there with a good attitude, boys….or girls, whatever the case may be (chuckles)….and uh, and uh, that´s uh….but the upside is, uh ….you spread a lot of happiness to this world so (chuckles)….(?)….are there any red headed women in the house? (crowd cheers)….´´

07.02.97 Sydney, Australia, intro to ´´Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street ?´´
´´Thank you….this is for my old, old, old, old, old (chuckles)….´´

07.02.97 Sydney, Australia, intro to ´´Galveston Bay´´
´´Thank you….I wanna thank everybody for coming out tonight, thank you very much…. great to be back in Sydney, thank you, won´t stay away so long next time, I promise (chuckles)….somebody, uh, somebody requested this out back, this is a song based on an incident that happened in the Gulf, Gulf Coast, uh, of Texas in the mid-´80s, there was a….at the end of the Vietnam War, there were a lot of Vietnamese refugees that settled in the Gulf Coast area and they went into the fishing business and there was a lot of tension between the Vietnamese fishermen and the Texas fishermen, many of who, uh, who served in Vietnam so ….this is, uh….´´

Compiled by : Johanna Pirttijärvi

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